Writing for the Web

PictureImage © by Brian E. Faulkner
The landing page is your web site's
most important online real estate. 

The words you choose for your landing page should plant the benefits of your business, brand or product in visitors’ minds before inviting them to go deeper. They should make your best prospects want what you have and point them to the gold at the end of the rainbow. 
 
It's surprising how many landing pages fail to take advantage of this critical online real estate. All too often, web developers go all-out to create an attractive, functional design, optimize search to attract qualified visitors and then present a self-focused story (we do this and that) instead of a customer focused story (this is how the experience of using our product benefits you). 

EXAMPLE of Self-Focused Landing Page Copy:
We have been providing our Brand Widgets to the aviation market since 1973. Our team is 100% dedicated to quality; we use the most up-to-date design technology, and our selection of operational configurations is unsurpassed.

EXAMPLE of Customer-Focused Landing Page Copy: 
Eight of ten leading international airlines and seven of ten business aircraft operators use Brand Widgets today and consistently report fewer operational interruptions per each installed aircraft. That means more aircraft availability between maintenance checks and more predictable revenue.  
CLICK HERE for operational configurations.
 
The first example reads well, is short and to the point. But it’s the wrong point, because the first words prospects see are about "us", not them.  The second example presents benefits that prospects can take to the bank. Ideally, company history, team, capabilities, products, tools and processes would appear on an ABOUT page - and be described in relation to customer/client benefits . 
 
Is your landing page about you or the customer and their needs?

Perspective ...

Twenty years ago I was part of a small business that interviewed three PR agencies about developing a new product launch campaign. Each firm recognized the potential of our product, launch of which soon got snakebit by the dot com bust plus the kind of internal struggles that all too often mark the beginning of the end for some business start-ups.

One of these PR firms stood out. They "got" our product, and their media placement suggestions were right-on.  They were the single source option for everything we needed (except perhaps interpersonal counseling).  But, surprisingly, the attractive brochure they left behind failed to communicate their competitive advantage.  Like so many “creative” providers, it described the tools they used vs. how they make a difference using those tools. 

Here's a count of the words in their text:

us words (we, us. our, company name):  27
you words:  (you, your, client, customer)  10

There were almost three times as many us words as you words. Copy focused more on the firm's capabilities than client needs. The agency didn't communicate their competitive advantage nearly as well on-paper as they did in-person.

​Why?  I don’t know, although--like me, you may recall the story about the cobbler’s children having no shoes.
Landing Page

Package Containers

Task: Package Containers, Inc. is a Portland, OR manufacturer and marketer of paper bags for the retail produce industry. They also make twist ties for growers. PCI had just "rediscovered" a key competitive advantage (thanks to our consultative process). We then helped them communicate this "new" benefit to the marketplace, including fresh web site copy suggestions. 
Previous Copy:
Package Containers, Inc is the packaging supplier of choice for many businesses throughout the U.S. We pioneered the use of the single strap Home-Toter® bag and our products are recognized as essential in the supermarket, produce, retail, food service and many other industries. Our commitment is to manufacture quality, value-added packaging products at a competitive price while developing new innovations that help our customers differentiate themselves from their competitors.   

Proposed Copy:
Package Containers is North America’s leading provider of high performance paper totes, poly bags and wire ties for grocers, growers and food service customers. Our Home-Toters® produce merchandising  containers  are known for their ability to prompt consumer purchase and increase sales of apples, oranges, etc. - often by over 500%.  PCI also is a premier source of innovative merchandising concepts that help build produce brands. 
Landing Page

Leo Dowell Interiors

Task: The assignment was to come up with  words to totally transform upscale residential interior designer Leo Dowell's web site. The idea was to challenge Leo's prospective clients to look beyond predicable interior designs to unexpected contrasts, using an approach that integrates the images and textures of 18th and 19th century European Country living into 21st century luxury homes.
New Landing Page Copy:             
You’ve always wanted your home to reflect the warmth and texture of a European country cottage or chateau.  In your mind’s eye you see the sun streaming through an arched window set into the wall of your lavishly appointed kitchen. You take pleasure in how light plays through your house as the day goes on, revealing a quiet alcove here, splashing dappled patterns there and highlighting a prized piece of furniture, the one-of-a-kind treasure Leo Dowell helped you find last year in the back alleys of the Paris Flea Market. 

There’s a comfortable elegance about living in an authentically designed European Country home such as Leo helps his clients create, a quality that's both deeply satisfying and quite uncommon.  In France, they say joie de vivre, the joy of life. If joy of life is what you want for your home to reflect but never have been able to achieve, Leo Dowell can help you attain it, as he has done for so many other discerning clients: create a design experience that matches your life perfectly. 
Video Landing Page??

DDB Unlimited

Task: DDB Unlimited, a manufacturer of industrial grade enclosures for the communications industry, needed a short "explainer" video to attract and educate qualified prospects on the web,  The video I wrote and narrated is nothing more than a landing page in a different format.  Note how quickly the video grabs viewer attention and then presents DDB in terms of tangible application benefits.
​

Video Script Copy:
There are lots of promises made on the internet, but many don't prove out. If the promise you're looking for involves industrial grade NEMA enclosures for harsh outdoor applications, you've come to the right place: DDB, the OEM manufacturer where promises made are promises kept.
Whether pole mount, wall mount, or pad mounted. Guarding switches, routers, amplifiers - or any other vertically racked equipment that requires protection from wind, rain, cold, critters ... or prying hands, DDB is the choice you'll want to make compared to the many "take it or leave it" options out there.  There's nothing "standard" about DDB enclosures.  For telcom, security or traffic applications, DDB delivers quality unlimited.

Here's how far we go ...     (continued)
View the DDB positioning video here:
​    (copy & paste link in your browser)

https://youtu.be/idPogXOJv5s
Contact Brian Faulkner about potential writing and/or narration projects:

336-251-2203
[email protected]